Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail

“I’m only 19; I haven’t had my first love yet! There was this one girl though, at college. She was… incredible. If I talk about it I know I’ll end up sad and tired, but now that I’ve started I can’t really stop. We met because the drama department at our school had a sort of publicity stunt in the beginning of the year to get people interested in drama. She was in it, and the second I saw her… I don’t believe in love at first sight, but there was something about her. When I saw her, I immediately wanted to talk to her and know all her secrets and hold her hand and… As Arina would put it, she had a ‘black hole aura.’ I guess you could say it was just my loud and obnoxious hormones telling me to go sex her up, but I’d like to think otherwise. It doesn’t really matter either way, I guess. Anyway, my roommate was into drama, so I offered to go with her to the audition for the show. I think I claimed it was for ‘moral support.’ So I went and this girl and I started talking and eventually I asked her out. On our date I remember thinking Arina was kind of right about the black hole aura thing. She made me want to stop talking for once and listen to everything she had to say. Eventually we started dating and things were… interesting. Sometimes I’d try to make plans and she’s brush it off saying stuff like ‘we’ll figure it out.’ The thing with me is I like concrete things. I wanted to know that we were going to see a movie this Friday at 8, not that we’d eventually see a movie together at some time on some day. So there was stuff like that. But then there were days where we’d spend ages together, just lying around, being lazy. Times like that made it seem like everything was okay in the world, even if it was just for a little bit. I know, how cliché, right? People are getting killed and tortured and raped and I’m lying around in bed with my girlfriend. I guess I was just… I don’t know how to describe it. I don’t think it was love—we were too selfish to love each other. I guess most people would say it was infatuation. Whatever it was, it was intense. The problem with that was that when things weren’t good, they were really bad. We had fights that would go around in circles like you would not believe. I’d rather not talk about the rest, if you don’t mind.”